But how do you do this? A stay-at-home mom with creative ambitions, a working mom trying to break glass ceilings, an entrepreneur with world domination ambitions or an average mom with an urge to do something for herself …..
How do you find balance between motherhood and self?
How do you get to a mental place where both thrive?
I’ve asked 10 amazing women this exact question and this is what they said.
Kelly @Studio DIY
Mama + founder of Studio DIY!. Entrepreneur. Creative genius. Cancer survivor. Mama of an adorable adopted little boy.
“I always remember my “bottom line”: spending as much time with my family as possible while still providing for them. There’s no way to “do it all” as a mama and entrepreneur, so you have to make sure every opportunity you take or goal you chase is helping push you towards that bottom line, and not pulling you away from it.”
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Kenya – @Halfietruths
Storyteller. Truthseeker. Truth speaker. Blogger. Extremely compassionate lady. Isn’t afraid to tackle tough subjects. Mama to a precious toddler girl.
“I do as much as possible during nap time and in the window between her bedtime + mine, so that I can be present when I’m with her. This time, where it’s just us, is brief + that helps me keep perspective.”
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N – @Thewannabejetsetmom
San Fran based new mama of two. Living in the moment and maneuvering her way through mamahood with sass and grace.
“There is no balance, but instead more of an integration of the different roles in our lives. Sometimes we have to dedicate more time to a project, and sometimes we dedicate more time to being a parent. It cannot be balanced at the same time. Either way, these roles spill into each other regardless of what you dedicate most of your time to. We just have to make sure that as we integrate, we find time for ourselves. So there is no balance because life isn’t perfect, but instead more of an integration of our life goals.”
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Titi – @Titispassion
The creative force behind the top Atlanta life, style and fashion blog, Titi’s Passion. Mama of 2. Extremely kind and gracious.
“When it comes to balancing motherhood and being a creative/entrepreneur the greatest lesson I have learned is embracing the idea that I can’t do it all, and asking for help is perfectly okay. I focus on my strengths both in parenting and business, and delegate/lean on others and hire.”
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Elsie – @Elsielarson
Co-founder of @filmmapp + @acolorstory + @abeautifulmess. Tennessee based mama of an adorable little girl adopted from China. Currently waiting to adopt a second daughter. One of the most inspiring accounts on IG.
“Balancing work and motherhood can be tricky, especially when you truly love your work. For me, my work was like my first baby. My best advice is to give 100% of yourself to both. When I work, I work my ass off! But then I lock my phone and laptop in my office and give 100% of myself to my daughter! It’s ok to feel exhausted at the end of every day. Its worth it and these years with little kiddos are short.”
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Laura – @Gummergal
Blogger, DIY guru and staff writer for A Beautiful Mess. Nashville based mama to the cutest toddler. The best mummy and me ootd on the internet! Beautiful inside and out.
“Oh man, I probably have no real wisdom on this but I guess I would just highlight the importance of trying to take care of yourself in all the madness of work/motherhood. The whole principle of “putting on your oxygen mask first so you can better assist others” is so true and I can feel when I need more oxygen in my being so it’s crucial to be aware of that.”
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Chante – @chanteburkett
Influencer extraordinaire. Entrepreneur. Boss babe. Florida based mama to a lovely preteen. Big heart and kind soul.
“I’m far from perfect and I make mistakes. For me, it’s all about balance, scheduling and I’ve come to terms that I will never be fully organized.”
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Dee – @Dee.diary
Color and pattern obsessed NYC lifestyle blogger. Self-love and mental health advocate. Mama to a darling toddler boy. One of my dearest friends.
“Compromise. If you want it all you have to realize that there really isn’t ‘balance’ in terms of the dictionary meaning of the word. The scale will always tip in one direction or the other and you have to remember to place a bit more weight on the side that is dropping from time to time.”
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Chioma – @Chioma_Ufodike
Forensic Accountant. Financial Educator. CPA. Fitness Enthusiast. Glam queen. Calgary based mom of 4 kids including 2 identical twin boys.
“I believe it’s a matter of survival – it just has to get done one way or another. Here are a few tips on the balancing act: motherhood, working full time, and being a full-time wife.
- Plan – I am a planner. I plan a month in advance from meal schedule, kids activities, birthday parties, dress up days for school, homework project, etc. That way I know when I am unavailable (for example if I have to travel out of town for work) and when I need to ask for help
- Prioritize – You can’t do it all. Focus on what’s important. It’s okay to skip an after-school activity or birthday party. Don’t overextend yourself or feel guilty about it
- Seek help – no one is an island…it takes a village to raise my kids and I seek help from family and friends when I need it. Split responsibilities with your spouse or partner and if your kids are old enough give them chores. They can help with dishes, laundry, etc, that way you have time to focus on other tasks
- Flexible work environment – it’s important to pick a career or work for a company that not only endorses a flexible work environment but are very supportive of it. It makes a big difference
- Find me-time – my me-time is when I exercise….for 1.5hrs I escape into an alternate reality and I feel rejuvenated to take on what the day brings!”
Dr. Kechi Ogbuagu – @Converse4change
Public health physician. Retired UN global coordinator. Consultant. Founder of non-profit Conversations 4 Change. Change Advocate. Superwoman. Mom of 4. Grandma of 3. My Mother. My greatest inspiration. Support her Upcycler Kickstarter here.
“I think the most important thing for every woman, every mother is to be able to look inwards and find your true self – to accept, value and love that self – to know that you were created special and have a unique gift only you can bequeath to this world. You are here for a purpose.
It is from this certainty that you can truly reach out and interact and give to others. It is from this point of certainty that you can be a good mother, wife, sibling, neighbor. It is particularly important for motherhood. It is what empowers you to bring up, nurture, love and cherish the gifts of children that God gave you. What they become is what they see in you not what you have told them. Yes in this process you will struggle with the inevitable guilt that comes from time spent away from children/family. What I have found is that what truly matters is quality of time spent not quantity.
Today I look back after 41 years, at the four wonderful children (now adults!) I have had the privilege to bring forth and raise. I am humbled with who and what they have become – loving and caring, brilliant, talented, ambitious, hardworking, and with a deep sense of humanity – and I say to myself, surely I must have gotten some of the answers right. Thank you God!”
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I hope these responses connect in some way and inspire you to keep at it. No one has it all figured out. Prioritizing, asking for help, going with your heart, loving and embracing time with your little ones – is what matters. Balance might not ever be achieved but that doesn’t mean we should give up entirely. We keep at it every day, we don’t give up on our dreams, we make ourselves available to our little ones, we don’t forget about ourselves. We keep doing our very best. There will be ups and downs but what matters is nurturing what sparks joy in you.
What does balance mean to you? What does this balancing act of motherhood and self mean to you? Let’s band together and lift each other up.
2 comments
taynement
May 15, 2019 at 1:23 am
I liked Dr. Kechi’s comment – What they become is what they see in you not what you have told them.
Kids are so much smarter than we give them credit for and they absorb every single thing.
Great blog topic!
Chinny
May 16, 2019 at 5:46 pm
Thoroughly agree. I’ve been shaped by the example she set. She traveled alot, worked hard but was always there for us when we needed her. When I say she’s my greatest inspiration, I really mean it. Like I have no idea how she did it! Really glad you like the post. Thanks for the support! 😃